wheres bert?
by special agent Ali
Summary: All right my imagination ran off on this one but its too funny, I tried the challenge on NFA playboy goth and geek and this is what happened, just read and review please


(Hey everyone decided to try a new challenge this is the playboy Goth and the geek hope I can do better for this one)

McGee was in love with her she knew that so when Ziva found him not only outside her lab but sitting on the ground like a puppy that lost his favorite bone she was worried.

"Hey McGee why do you sit like the bat who ate the banana?" she asked and Tim looked up and tried to smile. "Its cat and canary Ziva and its nothing" he said and put hid head in his arms that were wrapped around his legs and Ziva who was now beyond curious went to the lab door only to see Tony in with Abby.

"Timothy, are you telling me that you're afraid that a chauvinist pig that is Tony DiNozzo will steal Abby" she said and he looked up but said nothing.

"Their fixing Bert, he tore a stitch and Abby says I'm too clumsy and she doesn't need him having red fur, Tony decided to impress her by being a doctor from some movie, he always wins Ziva" McGee said sadly and Ziva put her hands on her hips and walked into the lab.

"Ziva, look Tony is a surgeon like Ducky isn't he adorable" Abby said excitedly and Tony turned in a gown he took off Ducky complete with mask and Ziva had to chuckle.

"Aqua smurf right?" she asked and he narrowed his eyes and ignored her. "Abs darling I can't concentrate" Tony whined and Abby went over and tried to push Ziva out but Ziva quickly maneuvered away and pinned the Goth back instead.

"Abby what are you doing, Tim is outside sitting like a sad puppy and you're flirting with DiNozzo why?" Ziva asked and Abby shrugged.

"Tim is a good friend Ziva but Tony has skills especially with his hands" the Goth said freeing herself. "Forget it Ziva why are you trying anyway?" Tim asked from the doorway but with a smile on his face.

"Timmy don't be jealous, Tony is just my surgeon" Abby called and Tim shrugged.

"Who is jealous Abs?" Tim asked and Abby eyed him suspiciously. Tim smiled and walked toward her carefully. The lights dimmed though with each of his steps that when he grabbed her and planted a kiss the room went black.

Abby was taken back by the kiss that she remained rooted to the spot even when the lights went back on a minute later. There was something different though she noted. Tim had disappeared and Ziva had tripped and was sitting on the floor but something else felt wrong to the Goth.

She looked to where Tony was but he had moved to help Ziva and so all she saw was her Mass spec on its empty table. Wait why would it be empty when Bert was just there?

Frantic she raced over and touched the counter but it felt bare, no tricks or invisible paint so where did Bert go. Abby bent but the cuddly hippo was no where on the floor or anywhere else. She looked at Tony who was trying to get his weight off his arm. He finally got Ziva off and ran out of the room and Abby threw her Ziva a dirty look.

"What?" Ziva asked but Abby ignored her and followed Tony and Ziva followed her and soon they reached the squad room to find Tim at his desk alone.

"Timmy stop being so jealous and give back Bert already" Abby yelled at him and Tim stared back confused. "The only thing I took was my small flashlight on your computer I left there Abs, I just wanted to feel your lips once more before you decided to leave me forever and then it went dark and I left" McGee said and Tony narrowed his eyes at him and Tim gave him a look in return.

"I got a few steps away when the lights came back on so I decided to just come down here" Tim said and Tony folded his arms. Just then Palmer and Ducky walked up each carrying a hippo and looking annoyed.

"Abigail why is your hippo multiplying and appearing inside the morgue drawers?" Ducky asked and Abby was given both hippos. "These aren't mine guys, my hippo is missing though" Abby said and a small tear fell that Ducky felt sorry for her and gave her a hug.

Well I doubt that hippo can walk so who is the prankster?" Ducky asked and glared at the men who shrugged.

"Hey I was told to just fix his leg and McGee comes in and the power suddenly goes out after he kisses Abby and then Bert is gone and two different ones appear" Tony said and McGee chuckled.

"Well that almost made sense and I still claim innocence but now it appears we have one missing hippo and two new ones strange" Tim said and Abby just sagged on Palmers shoulder.

"Make that three and four agent McGee and this better stop or you're all written up" an even more annoyed director said carrying a hippo followed by Cynthia with her own.

"Well none of these are mine director look" Abby said and took the two new ones and lined up all four to show off their differences. The first one was really lightly colored, the second had a rainbow tattoo on his butt, the thirds foot had the letters BB on it and the fourth left arm had a hello kitty bracelet.

Then Abby squeezed each one only to hear silence and after the fourth looked at the group in annoyance.

"Hey Abs I got an idea, how about since McGeek and I seem to be the prime suspects we race to find the real Bert, there's probably more copies from the prankster that it could take days" Tony said and Tim smiled slightly but dropped it to a serious look and Abby looked at them both suspiciously but then agreed.

"But wait here's better suggestion how about whoever wins gets to take the lovely Goth to dinner" McGee said and Tony smiled. "Brilliant probester" he said and Ziva, Palmer, Ducky and Jen shared a look of suspicion but said nothing and Abby glanced at them all and nodded.

"Fine whatever just please stop the stupid game soon" she said and the boys looked at each other confused and Abby groaned and shooed them off.

"Abby you realize your only baiting them, Bert's probably in the lab" Jimmy said and Abby gave him a helpless look. "I know Jimmy but they wont give up, just because I dated them each a full week" she said and Ducky put his arm around her.

"where is it, I tossed Bert under Abby's desk before I ran off' McGee muttered searching on his hands and feet as Tony looked around the room.

"Looking for this" a voice said and both men looked up to see Gibbs with Bert and a smile on his face.

"Gibbs you found Bert" Abby said as the group walked into the lab and she ran and hugged her animal and it farted.

"Well what's my reward then?" he asked and Abby smiled.

"Well I was going to take one of them out but now you win the award" Abby said and both groaned. Gibbs smiled and as the two stood up and walked over were smacked in the head.

"No more hiding the hippo for sex because Abby belongs to me" Gibbs said and both groaned and he glared at them. The two sensed another hit and quickly left with a hurried "yes boss"

"This is all your fault Timmy" Tony whined and Tim stuck his tongue out at him.

"Who said it's over Tony?" Tim asked and Tony sighed. The kid never learns he thought bitterly as the two picked up the hippos to return them to their rightful owner. It had been a good plan but Gabby won in the end.

(Heh heh heh I'm still a lover of McAbby but had to mix it up)


End file.
